The proverbial “they” say that when a young child lies it’s a sign of intelligence. Well my kid must be a freakin’ genius because she’s not even four years old and she’s perfected the art. She’s a bald face liar. I’ve caught her standing in a pool of chocolate milk with the dripping, empty carton in her hand and she’ll flat out deny any involvement in the spill. In her mind this not only negates her culpability, but also her responsibility to help clean up. Now that's smart.
Every kid will run to the other parent after having a request shut down by the first parent, but mine will ask my wife for ice cream for breakfast and then patiently wait for Jen to leave for work and then come to me and say, “Mommy said I could have ice cream for breakfast.” Of course most of the time these days I’ve got “baby head” and I can’t tell if I’m coming or going so I end up giving her a mountain of mint chocolate chip ice cream in a cereal bowl with a Flintstone's Vitamin on top. The cornerstone of every nutritious breakfast.
So if lying is a sign of intelligence what does being a smart-ass mean? Arden’s gotten to be a real wisenheimer these days. Twice yesterday she hit Jen and me with some real zingers. First, I was driving her home from preschool and she asked me, “How do reindeer fly?” It took me a moment to try and formulate an answer. I eventually came up with, “Thanks to the magic of Santa Claus” and then I proceeded to sing “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” hoping for a little sing-a-long, but instead Arden interrupted me and said, “What’s that song, Daddy?” I said, “It’s Rudolph. You know, the Christmas song.” And then she said with a complete straight face, “Then sing it at Christmas.” Zing!
Then last night Arden decided that the inside of the refrigerator would be a fun place to play while Jen and I were preparing for dinner. Jen asked her nicely to get out. Of course Arden didn't budge. Then Jen said a little more firmly, “Arden, get out of there.” Still nothing. So Jen got stern, “I’m not gonna repeat myself.” But Arden just ignored her. Out of options Jen had no choice but to raise her voice and say, “Get. Out. Of. There. Now.” Arden just looked at her and said with that straight face of hers, “You repeated yourself, Mommy.” Jen and I just looked at each other and then let her play in the fridge until dinner.
So funny. Baby-Ko's vocab is obviously nothing compared to Arden's, but even as a 20 month old, he's got some tricks up his sleeves. I let him play with a dishwasher once. he won. what can i say!
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Finley at 21 months has already gone the way of the "well then I will ask Daddy..." she has done it at least twice in the past week. Thankfully she hasn't figured out that our house is so small and walls so thin that we can hear everything.
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