Jen and I don't use baby talk when we speak to the kids. We don't sugarcoat things and we don't use cutesy terms for things like passing gas. When Arden farts, she farts, end of story. However, we do use some of the slangs and euphemisms we were brought up with. Only recently did Arden learn that a bra isn't called an "over the shoulder boulder holder." However, occasionally our candor has bitten us in the ass...
When Arden was about 18 months old we were at Target, spending the required visit minimum of $100, when this woman, with ridiculously huge breasts, starts walking towards us. I quickly looked away so she wouldn't think I was some kind of creep, but then I heard this high-pitched little voice shout with glee, "Boobies!" I looked up and Arden was pointing directly at the woman's chest. The woman and I both turned beet red. I feebly tried to cover and said, "Yes, Arden, we're gonna get some Pirate's BOOTY." If I had convinced myself that my little ruse had worked and that the ordeal was over, I was sorely mistaken. It turned out the woman and I were on a reverse aisle collision course. We kept passing each other every single friggin' aisle and every single time we'd pass each other Arden would point and shout, "Boobies!" After the third time I decided to just get the hell out of the store as fast as I could. The upshot was that I didn't end up spending half as much money as I usually do that day.
My son yelled "LECHE!!!!" in a similar circumstance. Spanish for "milk." Fortunately, most people here have no interest in being bilingual.
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