SIGN OF THE TIMES

They say you can teach babies sign language so you can communicate with them before they have verbal skills. Well Alex is 7 months old right now and I don’t need any special language to know exactly what she wants or when she wants it. But when Arden was born and I was new at this parenting thing I found myself fascinated by the idea that we could teach her sign language. I had these fantasies of having these detailed conversations with her. I also had flashbacks to the summer after eighth grade and wishing I knew how to sign instead of juggle when I tried to woo the hot deaf chick at summer camp. Anyway, I ordered up a couple of signing books and a DVD. The DVD is supposed to show you some examples of what a baby looks like while they’re signing. I’ll save you some money on the DVD right now; it doesn’t look like they’re doing anything.

The first three signs they say you should teach the baby are “eat,” “water” (which doubles for “drink”) and “more.” For months Jen and I reinforced the signs with Arden whenever we fed or watered her. It seemed fruitless, but the book said it would take several months to kick in, so we kept trying and then one day when Arden was about 13 months old, after munching on some of those dissolvable Cheerio things, she started making the “more” sign. Clear as day. Jen and I were ecstatic. We couldn’t believe it. We asked her to do it again, just to be sure and lo and behold, she did it again. We quickly got her some more Cheerio things and she scarfed them down. We were so excited to be communicating with our daughter, I mean really communicating. So the next day when snack time rolled around we purposely gave Arden a smaller than usual portion of Cheerios, hoping she would do the sign again. When she finished I looked at her and said, “More?” But instead of making the sign, she just smiled at me and said, “More.” Five minutes later the sign language books and the DVD landed in the trash.