Last week Managing Editor of Parents Ask, Jennifer Brandt Herschko, asked me if I wanted to be an "expert" on one of their subscriber questions. The article and my response are posted below...
At some point, we've all felt like the world was watching during certain acts of parenting. During those moments when you feel like you're being silently judged for your parenting (or lack thereof), it can feel hard to hold your own-- to feel good about yourself and your stature (as the person responsible for the child that his chucking french fries across the restaurant). So what can you do about it? Do you say something to the onlookers- the other moms sending silent but deadly assessments your way?
One reader recently asked: How do I deal with a parent glaring and making rude comments about my 4 year old because he took off his socks for a minute at an indoor kid area?
Certainly, there is probably a very appropriate and psycho-analytical response to this question, that we could have had any one of our brilliant and renowned experts weigh in on. But instead, we went right to the source and asked the know it all dad who may (or may not) be the one wondering about your kids bare feet.... Guest Blogger Rick Suvalle of I Peed on My Kid answers:
As a parent who hates the park because of the sand and the dirt and the need for constant slatherings of sun block I’ve been to my fair share of indoor play places and play gyms. I’ve been to the low-rent ones where the Little Tikes Coupes are missing wheels and the ball pits are more pit than snot-covered ball. I’ve been to the boutique ones where they only stock Doug & Melissa wooden craft toys and have “noise rules”. And I’ve been to the fancy ones where you can sip a soy latte as you get your nails done while the kids take a drop-in pointillism class. But one thing that’s always the same is the Sock Rule.
I understand the No Shoe rule because they don’t want people tracking dirt into their establishments, but none of these places have been able to really explain to me the reason for the Sock Rule other than it’s an additional layer of protection from germs. Foot germs? Has there been an Athlete’s Foot outbreak among 4-year-olds as of late? Or ever? Maybe I don’t want to know the answer. Maybe I should stop putting my 1-year-old’s feet in my mouth. Regardless, a rule is a rule and it’s there for a reason. But hey, what kid hasn’t broken a rule before? And what baby wants to keep socks on their feet? The first thing my 4-year-old does when she walks in the door everyday is strip down to her skivvies. So while a rule is a rule I do understand the desire to air out the old dogs for a minute or two and personally I don’t think what your child did is a big deal. Certainly not big enough for someone to glare at you or make rude remarks over, especially if it was only for a minute or two. So I think you’re right in feeling irritated by this person and there’s several ways I think you can handle this situation if it pops up again:
1) You could glare back at them and say, “What are you lookin’ at, homes?” “Homes” being the operative word. It makes them think you’re “gangsta” and no one wants to mess with a gangsta.
2) You could pretend your child has a rare foot disorder and make this person feel bad for picking on someone less fortunate.
3) In solidarity you could take off your socks too.
4) You could punch them in the face. Just make sure your bags are packed so you can immediately run away before the cops arrive. It may be wise to have a good lawyer on retainer for this option, just in case.
5) You could just ignore them and continue doing what you’re doing and seek solace in the fact that you know you’re a good parent and you’re doing what you think is right.
Personally if I had the money for a lawyer I’d probably go with option 4, otherwise I think 5 is probably your best bet.
Originally posted on Parents Ask on 2/19/10.
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