THE NEW DAD EXCUSE?

Last week on the website Momversation (say that ten times fast) there was a video discussion about the “New Mom Excuse,” prompted by Parents Ask Managing Editor Jennifer Brandt.  Basically she was wondering how long moms could get away with the excuse of being a new mom when it came to not losing the pregnancy weight, not going to the gym, not caring that their wardrobe now consisted entirely of sweats or that moms were using baby food as hair conditioner. The panelists realized that their kids were now one, two and even three years old and they’re still using the “New Mom Excuse” for just about everything under the sun. This started me thinking, is there a “New Dad Excuse?” And the answer is no. There’s just “The Dad Excuse.” 

I touched on this to some extent in my piece on Flirting a couple weeks ago. How when I go into a Starbucks to grab a latte with the baby I’ll have three hot women quickly get the door for me while they let it slam shut in the face of the mother of two right behind me. Or how notoriously unfriendly flight attendants who sneer at moms entering a plane with children will go out of their way to help the “struggling” solo flying dad. Part of the reason this happens is because of “The Dad Excuse.” People just don’t think dads can do what moms have done for millennia. So essentially we get a pass. And when I do something completely normal, something that moms do on a daily basis, like picking my daughter up at school I’m dubbed “Super Dad” by the other moms because they don’t expect me to be able to do what they do. 

But, like the moms on Momversation, I take full advantage of “The Dad Excuse.” I often dress like a bum (though I was never that snappy of a dresser to begin with), I won’t shave for a couple of weeks, I’ll eat like crap, and up until recently the elliptical machine in my office went untouched for five years. But even though Arden is only four-and-a-half, I don’t think there’s a time limit on the “The Dad Excuse.” I think I’ll get that pass for all my shortcomings until the day I ship the girls off to college. Except from my wife.

Sure, I try and use “The Dad Excuse” at home (see my piece on why men can’t multitask), but my wife isn’t buying it. If she can do laundry and wash a few dishes while watching the girls, I should be able to do that too. And I try. “Try” being the operative word. I don’t always succeed. This actually causes Jen to get so irritated at me that she ends up cleaning the bathrooms and doing a lot of the housework I neglect. So maybe “The Dad Excuse” does work for me at home. :)


Originally posted on Parents Ask on 3/17/10.