QUOTABLE ARDEN

So we’re driving in the car the other day and Arden says to me, “Someone at school said when you have a baby your privates bleed.” I was momentarily stunned. Had no idea how to respond. And then a myriad of responses popped in my head, but I opted for the truth and just sighed, “It’s true.” And then Arden said, “Then I’m not having a baby.”

Ever since Jen got a new car a couple of weeks ago Arden’s been fascinated by cars. She wants to know the make and model of every car she sees. She’s memorized the symbols and will call out the car names as we drive. "Hey Daddy, there's a Mazda!" So the other day she saw a vehicle she had never noticed before - a motor home. I told her that there’s a bed inside and people sleep inside them. Now every time she sees an RV she says, “Look, Daddy. A bed car.” Well yesterday she wanted to know more about “bed cars.” She wanted to know if there were seats inside bed cars like regular cars. I explained that there were seats, a steering wheel, but there’s also a couch and a kitchen and even a bathroom. Arden gasped and said, “Oh my gosh. I’m getting a bed car when I grow up and Rahmi and I are going to live inside there forever.”

This morning Arden asked me if I could have a baby. I explained to her that only girls can have babies. And then she said, “Unless you’re a seahorse.” I was about to correct her, but stopped myself when I remembered from somewhere (certainly not biology class since I managed to never take it) that some male species do in fact give birth to their young so before I vetoed Arden's response I decided to look it up online and lo and behold male seahorses do in fact give birth to their young. I turned to Arden and said, “You’re right. How did you know that?” (I couldn’t imagine she learned that in school or even on Sesame Street.) She just said with a straight face, “I dreamed about it last night.” I dunno if I was more freaked out by the fact that Arden had dreamt this or that she tried to bait me into giving her the wrong answer so she could correct me.