One of my favorite quotes of all time is “Between the idea and the reality…falls the shadow.” I like the author, the great American poet T.S. Eliot, so much that Alex’s middle name is Eliot. I like this particular quote because it’s apropos to so many aspects of life and one of them crept up on me this past weekend.
The in-laws were in town for Alex’s first birthday and we decided to hit the Natural History Museum because they were featuring a new “Dino Lab” and one of Arden’s many not-quite traditional female passions is dinosaurs. First off, the Dino Lab is probably one of the lamest exhibits I’ve ever seen. Especially if you’re four years old. It’s just a window into a “lab” where you get to see a real live paleontologist using a microscope and a toothbrush to remove a miniscule amount of dirt from the bone of what looks like a prehistoric pigeon.
Because dinosaurs were in the air at the museum they also had a dinosaur puppet show at the museum. And even though it was only ten minutes long, it was probably one of the best exhibits I had ever seen. A puppeteer inside a lifelike and life-size triceratops emerged from behind our host and a hush came over the crowd and not just from the kids. If I didn’t know there was a person inside I would’ve thought I was just transported into a Steven Spielberg movie.
While the triceratops approached the girls Arden turned to me and said, “That’s not a real dinosaur, is it, Daddy?” She knew that dinosaurs no longer existed, but there was still a little gleam of hope in her eyes. Hope that maybe this really was the last real dinosaur in the world. And it broke my heart to say to her, “No, sweetie, it’s just a big puppet.” She enjoyed the rest of the show. But not quite as much as if she thought it was real.
Arden’s asked me these kinds of questions before. Most recently, during Halloween, she asked if ghosts were real and witches and goblins. Each time I had to tell her “no.” Part of me wants to say “yes” and let her enjoy the fantasy of it all. She’s got a great imagination and I hate seeing it dashed by reality. And there are only so many years in your life where you can play with your dolls and toy dinosaurs and pretend you’re really walking among them. I don’t want to stifle that, but at the same time I don’t want her believing something that isn’t true. I know where you think this is heading. Christmas. But good news for Arden, I still believe in Santa so I won’t have to cast my shadow on her ideas or her reality this time.
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