DEFENDING THE DISNEY PRINCESSES

When it comes to my approach to parenting it really boils down to two categories: “things the pediatrician suggests” and “my gut.” I chose my kids’ doctor because I trust her and if she says, “Jump,” I pretty much say, “How high?” Though when she suggested Arden see a dietitian because she was getting a little portly, I didn’t think I needed an outside source to confirm that I let her eat too much junk food. But when it comes to non-doctor-related issues, I just do what I think is right. But it wasn’t until I started writing this blog that I found out not only do other people think differently than me, but some of them feel so strongly about their beliefs that they’d stone me for thinking otherwise. And I’m not talking about the big issues (though none of the issues seem big to me), but people get up in arms about whether or not they should let their kids have a juice box or not.

One would think that after my Ferber Method Fiasco, I would try and steer clear of any polarizing topics here, however last week, an old friend posted a picture on his Facebook page of a seemingly innocuous deconstruction of the Disney Princesses throughout time (see above). With my tomboyish daughter recently discovering the magic of Disney and the aforementioned princesses, I made a comment on my friend’s Facebook page about how I thought the breakdown was funny, but that it was also an oversimplification.

I thought that would be the end of the discussion. Boy was I wrong. This began a somewhat heated debate on feminism and how the Disney Princesses are detrimental to the social growth of young girls today. I mentioned that being a father to a little girl, there’s something magical in watching my daughter light up when she watches these movies of my youth. This person went on to “admit” that she couldn’t “understand what it's like to share Disney sex-princess gender-role-brainwashing” with her kids. And that she found it “horrifying” and saw “little that's defensible about it.” She went on to say that, “it is so incredibly harmful for girls to be socialized into gender roles where their only purpose is to be sex-princesses for the men.”

This got my blood boiling. I now felt like I was being personally attacked for my parenting choice to let my children watch Disney movies. I let Arden watch Spongebob and I’m not worried that she’s going to grow up thinking there’s a talking sponge that lives in a pineapple under the sea. But I was quick to point out that Belle, from Beauty and the Beast (Arden’s new favorite movie that I had recently watched 437 times), did not save the prince with her sexuality. She saved him with true love’s kiss. And that Beauty was in fact one of Disney’s more sophisticated love stories. We actually see the characters grow and fall in love over time. And that the story’s central message is actually “don’t judge a book by its cover.” But this person wouldn’t hear it. She just said Belle was the only Disney princess caught reading a book and she didn’t use her smarts to save the day. I disagreed. I actually thought her decisions throughout were intelligent and her “enslavement” was her choice. A sacrifice for her father. What man would do something as courageous as that? None that I know. But again, that wasn’t what the movie was about.

Look, I’ll be the first to admit that the older Disney princess films like Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella have an obvious sexist slant to them, but they were produced during a different era, an era where women were sadly not considered equals. Does that make sexism right or okay? Of course not. But couldn’t it be argued that because women were relegated to this inferior role in society that these were really stories of hope, of dreams of a better life? Are they much different than the stories of Horatio Alger in that sense? As a guy maybe I don’t fully “get” how some women could be affected by these stories. But the stories themselves have nothing to do with the “Disney Machine” as this person referred to it. Uncle Walt only adapted these stories for the silver screen; they were around long before Steam Boat Willy was a twinkle in his eye. Either way, I think we should be able to enjoy these movies for their beauty, art and craftsmanship. Like I said before, there’s something magical watching these movies with my daughter. Movies that stirred my own imagination as a kid. Besides, when Arden plays princess, she’s never waiting for her Prince Charming and if she is it’s to boss him around.


My parents somehow missed the free-loving sixties, even though they were 25 years old when the decade ended, and I grew up in a home where my father worked twelve hours a day and my mother cooked, cleaned and looked after us kids. And even though my father didn’t know how to make toast, at no point during my youth did I ever feel that my parents weren’t equals and at no time did I ever feel that women weren’t capable of everything men could do. But that’s because my parents raised us with those beliefs so when we went out to see Snow White “saved” by a Prince’s kiss, I didn’t go home thinking that my role was to sweep some poor girl off her feet and take care of her. And my sister didn’t sit around waiting for some guy to come along and whisk her away to a better life. Well maybe she did, but that’s a different story all together. (I'm kidding, Marge!)

I don’t pretend to live in a world where sexism doesn’t still exist, but most of my generation grew up watching these movies and we turned out all right and while women may still be fighting for some respect I think we’ve come a long way. But in the end I think it comes down to if we raise our kids right then there shouldn’t be any cause for concern if we expose them to the older Disney classics or a talking sea sponge. Either way, I’m looking forward to this coming summer when Arden turns five and I get a chance to sit down and watch one of my favorite princess movies with her. Star Wars. May the force be with us.


In The Photo: My Little Princess