DADDY & ME

Monday marked the first day of Arden going to preschool five days a week and of course I had finally come up with a bunch of things to do with her on her no longer existent days off. And even though it was a Monday, a day when I normally only have Alex, I was already bored thinking about how I’m going to fill my days with her. While fun and cuddly, there’s only so much you can and can’t do with an eight month old. I can’t really do any chores these days because she needs constant entertaining and I can’t really take her places like the Children’s Museum because she’s too young to appreciate anything there. And I can only watch so many episodes of Chopped on the Food Network while making faces at her before I go insane from being cooped up in the house all day.

So today I decided to start Alex in “Rockin’ Tots”, a $35-a-45-minute session, Mommy & Me class where a teacher blows some bubble and plays the bongos while the babies cry and try to eat their maracas. It’s been about three years since I graced one of these classes and not much has changed. I’m still the only dad there and the women simultaneously welcome me and hate me. They welcome me because of the “Flirt Factor” I talked about in May and they hate me because most of them no longer feel like they can dress like slobs with me around. One woman had her child’s entire last meal on her blouse and when I walked in she quickly got up and put on a sweater. And most of the women didn’t expect a guy to show up to class so they didn’t wear any bras so every time they talked to me or smiled at Alex they would quickly grab their chests to make sure they weren’t pulling a Janet Jackson. And no matter what I do I come off looking like a letch because if I didn’t notice their boobs hanging out before, my eyes automatically followed their hands to their chests when they would randomly interrupt our conversation to check on their status. Needless to say I didn’t make any new friends or set-up any playdates after today's overpriced adventure. But we’ll be back next week to torture the ladies again.

I think I’m extra grumpy today because I’m missing Arden. Even though she’s been a real pain-in-the-ass lately, I mean real pain-in-the-ass, we always had fun on our days together and while my days with Alex never felt long or boring before, now that I have five of them in a row, they feel kinda lonely. I could talk with Arden and God knows she could talk to me. So as I've previously mentioned, I plan on taking Arden out of school early at least one day a week this summer, if not taking her out for a full day, so that she can go to the beach and do fun stuff and I can have my little buddy back.

Pictured: Alex at “Rockin’ Tots” doing her best John Bonham.